"Ano Daw?!"

It was a pretty sedate Sunday. I rarely ever get to spend Sundays at home coz most of the time, I'd be in Manila, talking and talking and talking to nursing students. I must say that I do enjoy lecturing, especially if the students are as good as the ones from UP or PLM or Perps (Haha! Bola!). For the past couple of months, the PLM nursing students who are currently reviewing at RUN (the review center I'm affiliated with... another of my rackets! Haha!) for the December board exams have been my audience as I barrage their brains with my "ode to fluids and electrolytes." But today, I finally had my long-awaited "Sunday at Home". It ain't a big deal pala. Sunday has never been my favorite day even back when I was in high school. I'd usually play all day Satuday, then I buckled down to "work" again on Sunday when I would read all my notes and study the topics for the coming week. I told you I was an exemplary student. Haha! Mabait talaga ako. And when I started going on duty, for some reason, I'd always get the weekend 24-hour duties. I mean, if I weren't on duty on a Sunday, I'd be on duty on a Saturday, and spend the following Sunday with my back plastered to my bed, vegetating, after 24 hours of back-breaking, ego-deflating, sanity-losing, weight-reducing, and ulcer-inducing tour of duty at the PGH-ER, charity wards or ICU. Haaay, the life of a medical student. I miss it, though... NOT! Haha! Nah, I really do miss it. Kaya nga I'm not quite used to the idea of a "free Sunday" and I usually don't know what I should be doing if I get one. Like today. My sister and brother-in-law left for somewhere, my mom and dad drove off to Makati with my sister-in-law, niece and nephews to buy shoes for my mom (the Dean has to always look great, especially when she's gonna attend the capping and pinning ceremonies of her students), and my girlfriend is in the US. So with nothing much to do, I spent the whole day being a couch potato and did a DVD marathon while munching on my favorite Hershey's plain dark chocolate bar and Nestea green iced tea (with mint! - Sarap!).

I checked my e-mail earlier and saw this funny message sent by a friend. It's so hilarious! Here it goes:

MGA KASABIHANG BINAGO NG PANAHON:
> Ang taong nagigipit... sa Bumbay kumakapit.
> Pag may usok... may nag-iihaw.
> Don't judge the book by its cover... if you're not a judge, or else you will cover the book!
> Ang taong naglalakad ng matulin... may utang!
> Ang taong naglalakad ng matulin... late na sa appointment!
> No guts, no glory... No ID, no entry.
> Birds of the same feather that pray together, stay together.
> Birds of the same feather... are the same birds.
> Birds of the same feather... make a good feather duster!
> Kapag may isinuksok at walang madukot... may nandukot!
> Kapag may isinuksok... may IPUPUTOK!
> Kapag may isinuksok... isuksok mo pa! Harder! Yeah! <-- bastus! hehe!
> Kapag may isinuksok... may mabubuntis!
> Ang buhay ay parang bato... It's hard.
> Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao.
> Ang taong di marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan... ay may stiff neck!
> Kapag may tiyaga, may nilaga... Kapag may taga, may tahi.
> Huli man daw at magaling... UNDERTIME PA RIN!
> To err is human... To errs is humans!
> Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin!
> Better late than later.
> Better late than pregnant.
> Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira ay kuwago... buti pa ang bahay kubo, sa paligid ay linga.
> Ang sakit ng kalingkingan, kailangan ng Alaxan.
> And hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika... ay lumaki sa ibang bansa.
> Kapag maigsi ang kumot, siguro tumangkad ka na!
> Kapag maigsi ang kumot, bumili ka na ng bago!
> Behind the clouds are the other clouds.
> Aanhin pa ang damo... kung shabu na ang uso!
> It's better to cheat than to repeat.
> Do unto others... THEN RUN!!! <-- this one's so funny!

> Pag di ukol, di bubukol... baka baog!
> Kapag puno na ang salop... kumuha ka ng ibang salop.
> Magbiro ka na sa lasing, magbiro ka na sa bagong gising... wag lang sa lasing na bagong gising!
> When all else fail, follow instructions.
> No man is an island, because time is gold. <-- kakapraning ito!
> An apple a day... is too expensive!
> An apple a day... is seven apples a week!
> An apple a day... is not an orange a day! <-- ano ba yan?! parang drug addict!
> Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto... muta lang yan!
> When it rains... it floods. <-- isa pa ito... kakaloko!
> Pagkahaba-haba man ng prusisyon, mauupos din ang kandila!
> Ang buhay ay parang gulong - minsan nasa itaas, minsan nasa... vulcanizing shop!
> Batu-bato sa langit, ang tamaan... sapul!
> Try and try until you succeed... or else, try another.
> Ako ang nagsaing, iba ang kumain... diet kasi ako, eh.
> Huwag magbilang ng manok, kung ang alaga mo ay itik.
> Pag may tiyaga... Good luck!
> If you can't beat them... shoot them!

Oh, it's not nice pala to call our Indian friends "bumbay." It's derogatory daw. It's like calling a Filipino "indio," a Chinese "intsik," or an African American "nigger." Nowadays, it's more prudent to always be politically correct. Race, gender, status sensitivity is the name of the game. So see if you can figure out what I'm really saying when I say...

> "Yna is pleasantly plump."
> "Yna is horizontally well-developed."
> "Our politicians are iodine-deficient."
> "Those in government are intellectually challenged."
> "GMA is growth-hormone deprived."
> "Mike Enriquez is aesthetically challenged."
> "Piolo Pascual is sexually ambiguous."